Today I found myself in the strange position of talking with my Grandad about his funeral wishes. He is living with lung cancer, but he most likely will not be living for much longer. As 78 year old Englishman, he is not one for fuss and bother, and doesn’t like a lot of attention drawn to himself. When asked how he’s feeling, he replies, “oh, not bad, thank you very much”, when clearly he is struggling for breath.
As Pebble crawled around the lounge room floor, Grandad shared his wishes for his farewell with my Nana, my mum and myself. It was strange to sit talking about his death as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Which I suppose it is. It was stranger still to be talking with him about what my Nana should do for herself once he is gone. Only once did the strain show, as his voice cracked when he shared the three songs he’d like at the funeral service.
I tried to be very grown up and sensible, and held my wavering emotions together. Everyone else was talking calmly, there was no need for tears and nonsense. You can be sure, though, that there will be more than a tear shed when it comes time to say goodbye for good.
That is a very full on discussion to have - I don't actually have any grandparents left & I worked in aged care for a long time - I am sure he appreciated being able to share what his wishes are while he can x
ReplyDeleteI suppose that would be a hard conversation to have, when someone is actually on the verge of passing away. My dad has mentioned similar things but he is only 49 years old and in great health, so its not the same....
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