Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Harden The Fuck Up.
That’s what I’m telling myself a lot right now. I spent a lot of yesterday afternoon on the couch, watching re-runs of shite TV and trying hard (and pretty unsuccessfully) not to think about pregnancy.
Our first scan was inconclusive – it showed a gestational sac in the uterus, but it was not clear that there was anything inside the sac. This is not uncommon for 6 week pregnancy, which is apparently where the measurement of the sac puts me at (not 8 weeks, which is what the period date says I am).
However, the doctor explained that this could be another not uncommon condition, called a blighted ovum. This is a fertilized egg which behaves in every was like a developing foetus, then stops developing, but hangs out in the uterus for a while. It causes the body to look, think and feel pregnant, so there’s no way of knowing with out a clear scan.
I’m booked in for another scan on 5 June. That feels like a really long time to live in limbo land. I don’t want to think positive, but don’t want to think negative. So I’m trying to think nothing. This has made me into a kind unfeeling zombie, kind of like someone on antidepressants, who is numb. Interspersed, of course, with crazy rants, and emotional outbursts. It’s fun (<- Sarcasm).
Anyhoo, after eating a packet of biscuits in it’s entirety, and feeling completely revolting, I have picked myself up off the proverbial floor and decided to Harden The Fuck Up. This pregnancy is out of my sphere of control. At least I can conceive. At least I don’t have a real world problem, like my toddler fracturing her arm (thinking of Amber). So I need to focus on the good things, and the real things. Family, friends, wedding, work, not necessarily in that order. And I need to blog.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I go……

1 comment:

  1. OMG!!!! Just looking to the right of your blog and noticed your wedding is only ONE month and 21 days away! Yeeehaww!! Wow that's gonna come up so quick now, is there anything you need help with? I've seen the Hens Night emails but haven't read them yet so I'll be getting onto that now I'm back at home. So looking forward to it all!!!


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