Tuesday, August 31, 2010

At My House: Rods and Backs

So, I have discovered the secret to getting a baby to sleep past 6am…… are you ready?……
Let them sleep in your bed!!!
Three times in the last week I’ve brought Pebble into our room after an early morning feed. At 5.00am if I put her back in her cot she will just decide it’s morning and want to get up and play. So I tried bringing her back to bed with me and hey presto she slept in until 8.00am! Yesterday it was until 8.15am and only because I woke her up!
It was very cute seeing her wake up next to us, her little smile and legs kicking with delight when she saw us. BUT. Am I making a rod for my own back here? Am I going to end up regretting this little morning cuddle? I wouldn’t mind if she wants to come into our bed in the early hours, but I don’t want it to become an all night thing, or for her to refuse to sleep in her cot.
What is your experience with letting littlies sleep in the parents bed? Pros, cons?
What’s happening at your house this week?


  1. Haha very cute! My experience (and this was only my experience) was that when we did it it was great for the first 3 nights and then it got earlier and earlier and then one night I went to put him back in his cot after his 3.00am feed for him to CRACK it and we were up for the rest of the night as I refused to put him in our was then I realized I had stuffed up and it took a good week to get him back to routine. I am still tempted sometimes to bring him in to bed but I don't want to go backwards. I do bring him in to our bed on a Sunday morning but that's usually is to wake hubby up.
    Like I said this is what happened with us and it may (probably) be different for you. Whatever you decide I hope it works out because there is nothing like baby cuddles of a morning:)

  2. My third baby is 8 months old and has only slept through without waking me 4 times since his birth.
    I have just started bringing him into bed when he wakes. He is rarely hungry but wants a cuddle. I'm finding that he falls back asleep more deeply when I do this and sleeps longer when I transfer him back to the cot, reducing night wakes from 4 times to 1.
    Personally, I haven't had issues with resettling any of my boys back in the cot after small amounts of co-sleeping.Having said that, my 4 and 5 year olds sometimes climb into our bed during the night still, but they have no issue with being taken back to bed after a cuddle.
    For my family it works. I'm often told that I'm creating a rod for my own back, but I don't feel that.I just think my boys like to know that they can have a cuddle during the night and, being secure in the knowledge that it's available when they need it, are happy to go back to their own beds too.
    I think that parenting decisions are so personal. If it's working for your family do it. If not, then change. Children will never be ruined by parents who love and respect them and make the best decisions they can with the information they have at that time.
    The only time I have really regretted a decision I've made ragarding parenting is when I've gone against my instincts.

  3. I'm all for co-sleeping!
    Before I was a Mother, I swore black & blue that no child of ours would sleep in our was OUR bed! But that all changed when Ella was only a few days old and slept so contently snuggled by us :)
    She isn't the best of we do whatever works & allows her to sleep & for US to that means she comes into our bed most nights...or one of us curls up with her in her bed {now that she's in a big bed}.
    I say..."Whatever works!"...."Whatever makes you & bub happy!"
    ENJOY the snuggles {and sleep-ins}

  4. @Hayley - hmm, I wonder if that's what's happening here. The first time it was 5ish, but last night it was 4ish. We shall have to wait and see!

    @Moi - I do like the idea of that sense of security that cuddles are at the ready whenever they need it. If it's not too disruptive to our sleep then I would like to do that.

    @Claire - thanks for sharing your experiences too, the certainly do sleep so much better when snuggled in with their parents.

    I'll let you all know how it goes from here!

  5. I think you know my experience - and it was exactly like your describing, to begin with. Sweet morning cuddles, snuggling in all nice and warm. But then he wanted to come in a bit earlier, and then he started waking up 2 or 3 or 4 times a night and the easiest way to settle him was in our bed... and now we're midway through getting him back out, and staying out the entire night.
    Its been a struggle, i wont lie. That being said, heaps of families thrive on co-sleeping, its just not an all-night solution for us..

  6. I reckon it's a case of what feels right is what you should do. We try very hard to keep the Bebito out of our bed unless he's unwell BUT you know, sometimes you just gotta sleep. I'd be careful about making it a habit if it doesn't feel right as I suspect it doesn't if you're asking us. ;) In my experience, when habits form you gotta break them but they are just replaced by different habits! Tis a never ending "battle" Kylie. xx

  7. Thanks for joining in again Kylie. Lovely to visit your house.

    There are no right and wrongs with parenting. You will always find some people who agree and others that don't. You just need to work out what feels right for you and not what you think should be the right thing to do. I think that the right thing for me changes a bit from time to time and my confidence in decision making about parenting has certainly changed over time which has changed my decisions. What others might think is a rod for your back may or may not be for you. The alternative might be better for you or worse for you. All the best. Lou.

  8. With 5 kids, they have all co-slept with me for some part of their lives. I find it easiest doing night time feeds in bed because we both fall asleep together.

    Anyhow, I have had no issues with transitioning my babes from co-sleeping to a bed/cot. Just do what feels right and if it means getting a few more hours sleep, then I don't see why not!

  9. Hey Mrs G.

    I agree with some of the comments above. If you are happy to have her in your bed, then keep doing it. If you are scared that it will become every night, all night, then stop it now. Each to their own.

    I loved having the girls in bed with us when they are little, although as you may imagine, having twins and both wanting to come in bed for a snuggle didn't exactly leave much room.

    The girls were never good sleepers and its only been the last year that they are sleeping through the night. Having said that, we do get occasional scary dreams and adamant refusals to go back into their bed some times. In this case, I just throw them in to bed with daddy and go sleep in their bed - alone....bliss!!!!

    I'm all for a sleep in though!!!!


  10. Co-sleeping is the best thing you will ever do. It wont ruin anything. At 20 months and 4 my girls occassionally end up in our bed, after being big co-sleepers until they were weaned(one at 12mths, one at 16)

    When they start creche they might come in a bit more, if they are sick they may return more frequently. If you go away for the day,they sneak back some time through the night.

    There are many studies that prove the highly beneficial impact co-sleeping has on mum, baby and dads too. Plus in pretty much 90% of the worlds cultures babies only ever co-sleep with their parents. They are safer, warmer, better fed and happier beside you than they are in a room on their own. It WONT last forever, if one night it is more than another, that wont last either.

    Embrace it, enjoy it, and soak up the sleep while you can.

  11. Thanks for your advice everyone. I know we've just got to do what's right for us. I'm such an indecisive person, I get so confused! This morning is wasn't an issue, she slept in her own bed after her 2am feed until 6am wake up.


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