I can’t believe I’m actually thinking this, after all the hard work and trauma I went through to make breast feeding work…. but I’m contemplating weaning.
This week (I know, only a week) Pebble has been waking at 3.30am every morning for a suckle, even if she was *just* fed within the hour. She has a little suck for five or ten minutes, then falls back to sleep.
So, what? Well, it’s all well and good if she’s actually feeding, but I feel like a human dummy when she wakes me up just for this. I tried using a dummy instead, tried rocking her to sleep and resettling her, but she was having none of it. Perhaps it will pass.
How will weaning help this? To be honest, I don’t know….
On top of that I’ve woken up in the night with blocked ducts *again*. It’s happened twice before, but it cleared instantly when I located the blockage. This time I can’t find it and it’s getting more and more painful. I’m trying hot compresses, different feeding positions and pumping, but so far it’s not going away. My next try is a hot shower and massage, but I’m getting desperate. Hopefully it won’t develop into mastitis.
Aside from that, as much as I love her (and I really, really do), I would like to have a bit more flexibility, and be able to be away from her for more than a couple of hours. Expressing has never worked well for me, so to keep up the breast feeding I need to be accessible to her every two to three hours during the day time.
I think I’m just feeling tired, and a bit run down. I feel like I want my body back, just a little. And I feel so guilty for it.
Do you have any pearls of wisdom for me?