Closure

One hour.

That’s about how long it took for me like I was missing a limb. Without blogging I feel ……lost. I do love blogging, but The Rockgarden and it’s hodge-podge-diary-of-a-mummy style was just not working for me anymore. It took saying goodbye to The Rockgarden for there to be room in my brain for an idea to grow. Over night it has made my brain explode!

I am not saying goodbye to blogging for good. I will be back. I’d love it if you could hang on to this little space, because when I’m back, holding this little baby of an idea, I’ll be so excited to show you. Keep your RSS feed, keep your email subscription, keep your Facebook and Twitter friendships, because I think you’re going to like where I’m going, and you’ll need to be there with me.

For now, I’ll see you around the blogosphere while I keep enjoying visiting you.

Goodbye

We need to talk.

It’s not you it’s me.

It’s over.

I have decided to stop publishing The Rockgarden. Very shortly it will be closed to the public. I don’t even know if anyone will be able to read this. I guess that’s not the point. I always said that I would blog until it wasn’t fun anymore, and that time has come.

Thank you all for visiting. I will visit you all, in real life, on your blogs. I’ll be around. Just not here.

Winter of Content

I love winter. I know it’s not technically winter here in this part of Australia just yet, but this week the weather has finally gone all grey and misty, wet and windy, enabling us to get all warm and cosy. ‘Warm and cosy’ is a new favourite saying in this house, because whenever we say it Pebble shrugs her shoulders up, gives and little smile and hugs herself a tiny bit. Sixteen month old cuteness. What’s that? Why, yes! Pebble is 16 months old now. I’ve only just realised that for about a week and a half I’ve been running around telling everyone about my very clever 15 month old, when in fact, she is actually a whole 16 months old. At this early stage of the game every month makes such a different. Sometimes a day is all the difference.

Some more of Pebble’s favourite things right now include:

• picking up millipedes and giving them to the nearest adult with a proud expression on her face
• lifting adults (especially mum and dad) by their shoulders and or pushing their bums off seats in order to then manoeuvre said adults into the required position, usually at the back door or nearest exit.
• throwing tantrums when mum or dad (usually mum) refuse to let the 16 month old out of the house and into the freezing, wet, wintery weather.
• throwing tantrums generally. Big end-of-the-world tantrums. Tantrums and real “I’m hurt” or I’m tired tears are very hard to differentiate. All will elicit long breath-holding, red faced, screwed up expression and real fat tears, with woeful moaning. I’m learning to ignore the tantrums and comfort only the pain. Slowly.
• gasping in delight and amazement at everything from a lovely fat crayon, to the sun in the sky, to a bird on our roof, to a leaf on the ground, to - well, you get the idea. Everything in this world is a wonder to this little Pebble.
• copying sounds and actions with even more detail. This week Grandad and Charlotte performed a dancing number together with a stomp-stomp, turn-around, jump on the ground sequence. Perfectly synchronised too. I wish I’d gotten the video camera out!
• Unpacking the Tupperware cupboard. Every day.
• cosying up in mum and dad’s bed, putting her finger to her lips (or nose – close enough) and saying ‘sssssss’ (otherwise known as ‘shhhhhhh’), then hiding herself under the covers before triumphantly revealing herself once again. This never gets old, for either of us.
• counting everything in. Warming up a bottle? Count down! Sliding down a slippery dip? Count down! Running across the lawn? Count down! She does her own version of ‘1, 2, 3’, which involves silently nodding her head for each number and showing fingers on one hand.

Oh, I could go on forever. Really, I could!

In other news, you may have noticed a little more of Pebble showing up on the blog these days. I read a really interesting article about mummy blogging and privacy and I guess I’m slowing figuring out how I feel about things and what makes me comfortable. Take a read of what Mamamia has to say about things – this article says it best.

Moments

It’s often the crappest photos that are the best. Poor light, blurry motion – but they capture those moments that we treasure. This is one of those photos. Pebble had *just* woken up from a much needed three hour nap (love those). I heard her wake with a loud “baaaaa, baaaaaa” coming out of the baby monitor. When I got to her room Pebble was standing in her cot with her arms outstretched for her toy lamb. I picked her and the lamb up and she gave lamb lots of noisy “baaaaa” cuddles while I changed her nappy.

Then it was a cuddle fest for all. Every toy on her toy shelf was given a kiss and a cuddle by Pebble and by each other. Panda kissed Lamb. Lamb kissed Bunny. Bunny kissed Max. All of this was very new and unexpected. The “baaaa” sound is a new favourite whenever a sheep or something sheep-like is spotted, but the level of kissing and cuddling here was a delightful little moment of love and happiness. The chosen ones, Panda, Lamb and Max, were carried out to the living area where they were swiftly put to work at our new table and chair set. Max was even given a crayon to hold.

These are the moments that I never want to forget. They are parenting gold, probably only really significant to the two people who brought this kid into the world, but so easily they will slide away into the fuzzy sleep-deprived parenting fog.

That’s one of the reasons I love blogging. It’s a place to collect and display all these moments so that they don’t get lost. I’m going to try to blog them more, because it seems that every day there is another little Pebble moment that I want to keep and one day share again with her.

A long time between drinks

It’s a topsy turvy old world – Pebble, stunt baby, 13 months

Er, well, actually, not so much between drinks, but definitely a long time between blog posts. Could it be that returning to work is impacting on my time to have fun and frollick in the blogging world? The short answer: yes.

I have missed blogging very much, but to be honest when I have had a moment to think about what I might write I’ve been finding myself a bit stuck. I feel that the authenticity of this blog is very much in danger of completely disappearing. Last year I made a few changes to the blog in the interests of protecting Pebble’s privacy. It’s something that I still feel strongly about, and really feel that I’ve made the right decision for us. BUT. It has impacted on the enjoyment I get out of blogging. I LOVE to share photos of my beautiful little girl, and censoring my choice of photos has dampened my enthusiasm.

Some things never change. Paul, my gorgeous and loving husband, is very supportive of my blogging, but rightfully asks that I respect his privacy. Of course I do. So you won’t find much about him here.

On top of that I absolutely can not blog about my work. I am an early childhood teacher, and while there are many successful early childhood teacher bloggers out there, I am not aiming to be one of them. I just want a blog for me, about my life and … stuff. However I don’t think it’s very professional for me to hop online and blab about my work – whether it be a great day or a bad day. These are kids lives that I’d be sharing about. How would I feel about my own child’s teacher writing about my child on a blog – whether it was positive or not, whether or not my child was identified? I just don’t feel comfortable with it. And if something doesn’t sit right with you, you gotta go with your gut.

And then. Then! There’s the time factor. I guess I used to blog more when Pebble was immobile. Then I blogged when she was napping. Now those naps are sacred time. If I’m not doing planning for my teaching days (very rare!) then I’m getting the house sorted, and trust me, I’m just barely keeping my head above water with that!

So, guys and gals, that doesn’t leave me a whole lot of authenticity or reality. And what is the point of a blog if you can’t get real? I hope you can bear with me while I figure out how to take this blog forward. If I decide to take it forward. I have loved my writing time, and just as much I have loved my interactions with all the other bloggers out there who I share the blogiverse with. Just know that, even though I’m not as vocal with my comments as I used to be, I’m still visiting you all when I can.

I’d love to know how you manage your blog and your life. How do you make your blog real? What boundaries do you set for yourself?

I’d also just love it if you said hi :)

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Dad teaching Pebble about the great outdoors

Thank you all so much for your feedback on the children and privacy issue. I’ve decided that for the time being I’m going to make a few changes around here. Number 1, I’m going back to using a pseudonym for my child’s name, which will be the name that we used for her when she was first conceived …. er, well not actually at the time of conception, but you get what I mean We always called her Pebble, so Pebble she will be.

I will continue to post some photos, but only photos where her face is not clearly visible. I’m not yet sure what to do about all the old photos, but I will slowly be going through old posts and changing her name (egads!).

I will continue to blog. Blogging is my creative outlet, and I have really missed it. I hope you can hold on tight while I tweak things around here, and look forward to reading more about what’s been going on at The Rockgarden.

Hello…

Hello there. It’s been a while, huh? If only you could see all thoughts whizzing around in my head. Taking a break from blogging while dealing with the loss of my Grandad has been good for me, but it has also let a few questions float to the surface that I have until now ignored. When in the throes of busy blogging I don’t let myself stop, reflect, and think. This might seem odd, when blogging is sometimes exactly that – a chance to stop, reflect and think. But I haven’t been listening to a little nagging voice in my head – this voice that asks *sigh*…. is it ok that you’re child is the star of your blog? Your blog, which is a public website, which anyone can access anytime? I’ve been swatting away this little nagging voice for sometime, but now I can’t ignore it anymore.

So. If my blog isn’t about Pebble, then what it is about? I can’t really give you an answer there. I feel ok with sharing information about Pebble, but I’m starting to feel antsy about all the pictures, and videos. Which is also the part that I love about this blog, and that I think you love too. I know when I’m reading other people’s blogs I love to see pictures to match the story.

I find myself in a bit of a quandry then, uncertain of how to proceed. So while I mull it over I can answer one question for sure. Have I missed blogging? Yes. So, I will continue to be here, updating as usual, but for a while you won’t see so many pictures of Pebble, which I so desperately want to share, but at the same time I don’t. How very befuddling!

What do you think? Do you share photos of your kids online?

Tweet Tweet!

I’m a hopeless tweeter. And by hopeless, I don’t mean hopelessly addicted, tweeting all the time. I mean I just can’t seem to get the hang of it, find the time for it, keep up with it. I’m barely keeping up with blog reading, let alone tweets! Which is why I’m out of the loop a bit about some exciting news – an Aussie Bloggers Conference!

I’ve read about Blog Her conferences in the USA and thought that it would be awesome to have one here, and now it’s coming! Just imagine, seeing all these wonderful, funny, insightful bloggers in person. Not LOLing but actually laughing out loud in person with sound and movement!

BUT. Will I be going? I’m really not sure. Or maybe I’m sure… sure that I’ll be missing out. I’m already going on a girly trip to Melbourne late this year AND I’ll be back at work when the conference is on, so I’ll have all those plates spinning and balls flying. Then there’s the guilt. You know. The mummy guilt? I’m already feeling guilty about planning a trip with my girlfriends, let alone a trip just for me and my little blog.

Anyhoo…. it’s something to think about. If I don’t go I’ll enjoy reading all about it!  Are you going to the Aussie Bloggers Conference?