Whey!

After joining the gym online I trotted along to pick up my members pack. It was to include a free towel and drink bottle, a folder of bits and pieces, and a tour from one of the friendly staff.

Now, when I joined this gym one of my hesitations was that it’s local. Which is great, right? Except that I live where I work, so inevitably when I’m out and about I bump into families from school. When I’m out walking with Pebble and a little tacker runs over to say ‘hi’ it makes me smile. When I’m at the park and I get a wave, or when I’m in the supermarket and I get a shy smile, I think it’s just gorgeous. But when I’m on the treadmill? Or twisting myself into the approximation of a yoga pose? Um, perhaps not.

Regardless of this I went ahead and bought a membership to our local gym, and thought surely not that many families would use this gym, and who cares anyway? Teachers are people too, right? RIGHT?

I bounced into the gym foyer for my appointment with the ‘membership consultant’, confident in my life-changing decision to improve my life with a gym membership. The friendly girl at the desk telephoned for the consultant to come out the front…. and there she was. One of what I affectionately call one of ‘my parents’. Not MY parents, but the parents of the children I teach. “HI!” she says and we have a quick catch about where we’re at in our lives, how are the kids, etc, etc.

Then we start getting into it. My fitness goals, my diet, my weight. It was a little bit… awkward. At first. But then it was fine. Really! Pretty normal, actually. Because teachers are people. Also, I’m not just a teacher. When I’m not at school I’m anything but a teacher! I’m ME.

That’s that then. The inevitable has happened, and it really wasn’t so bad. We’ll all be there for the same thing, and it must be better to be seen at the local gym than the local chippie week after week.

Do you go to the gym? Or the chippie?

Never Say Never

~image~

I just Googled this blog post title to try and find an appropriate photo to go with it. You know what I found? A boat load of Justin Beiber. Who knew? Apparently I share the creative genius of a prepubescent pop prince.

Anyhoo. I have ALWAYS said Never.

I’ll Never get married.

I’ll Never have children.

I’ll Never live far away from my family again.

I’ll Never work in a job that means working after hours and weekends.

You know what? I did it all. I did it all and more. You want to know something else? I’m pretty damn happy. The marriage …. as a kid who saw most of her family get divorced I wondered why the hell anyone would bother. Since then quite a lot of them have gotten remarried. Happily. And I grew up. And I met Paul. It was just right.

The kids. I’m not sure where this Never started, but once I started preaching it I got kind of stubborn about it. I do have a vague early childhood memory of seeing a horse give birth, and making the connection that mummies push babies out of their bodies. And if babies had legs like that foal then NO WAY was I going to have babies. Then in my early teens I was told that I may never be able to have babies, and I used this Never as a protective barrier against the world, the unknown. Again, I grew up. I wanted to have a family. So I did. I am SO grateful that it turned out to be so much easier than we thought, too.

Living away from family. Paul and I are from opposite ends of the long stretch of metropolitan Adelaide. My parents live about 30kms and an hour away. It’s far, but it’s not THAT far. We make it work. I love where we live now, it’s just beautiful, surrounded by gum trees and koalas (and the odd ‘roo!) in the backyard. We’re making our own life, our own family, and I wouldn’t change a thing… unless that thing was to somehow crinkle up the Adelaide landscape so that the gap wasn’t quite so far.

The job. Nowhere in the shiny education degree brochure did it mention the work load, never ending drain on your head and heart, not to mention bank balance (did you know teachers buy most of their own resources?). Somehow, somewhere along the way my passion for this thing they call teaching took over, and the extra work load, the huge responsibility, it all became part and parcel of something that I love.

Four HUGE Nevers. Life changing decisions that have brought me, slowly but surely, to where I am and who I am today. Which brings me to one more. One more MUCH less important and MUCH less life changing… I have also said that I’d never pay for fitness again. No personal trainers, no treadmills, and NO GYMS.

Yep. I totally just joined a gym.

It was so cheap! So close to home! With a great time table!

I’m not kidding myself, or you, dear readers. I’m not about to become a gym junkie and hit the weights room every day. I am going to move my body more and get healthy. Or at the very least, healthier.

Have you ever said Never? Then changed your mind?

The view from here

This was the view from my back yard today. This was actually the worst view of the day, believe it or not. The sky cleared up and it was a brilliant clear blue all afternoon. I do like the pattern of the clouds though.

I’m not quite happy-shiny today, but I do have a better outlook on things compared to yesterday.

For starters, Pebble kicked arse at swimming. To give some background we’ve endured about four weeks of clingy, “NO”, “I’ll do it myself, my way” swimming lessons, with refusal to put her head under when she used to swim three seconds under water. It hasn’t really been a biggie, we’re there for fun and to learn a bit about water safety. The instructor doesn’t push it, and neither do I. We adapt and go with the flow and it’s all good.

However. TODAY Pebble was a star swimmer and she was loving it. Well, she always loves it, but today she seemed really proud of herself and her clever swimming skills. She was under, she was kicking, she was floating, she was diving, she was running and jumping in, she was blowing real bubbles for the first time and she was happy, happy, happy.

The arvo flew by, we had an appointment for our car which meant I had to leave it in the shop for about an hour. An hour at the nearby park felt like a really looooong prospect. The park is great, it’s fun, she loves it, but it’s just so DONE. Instead, we trundled to the library, we hadn’t been there for ages. She climbed on the mini-train, played with the bead puzzle, refused to read any books (of course) and we borrowed some new books for home.

Then we went to the park, and I was surprised to bump into two people that I kind of know and I had a chat with them while Pebble went wild on the equipment. She’s getting to the age where she can do everything herself if there is the right kind of equipment. In fact, she MUST do everything herself. I was told to “way, way” and she shooed me. Like a pesky fly. Lovely.

Three days of work ahead of me, I’m actually looking forward to it. A few days of teaching will well and truly knock the MEH out of me! Not looking forward to the child care drop offs, but that’s another story.

School Days

Yesterday was Book Week Parade day at school and Grandparents Day. Families came to share and explore, kids were dressed as super heroes and villians, princesses and pirates. The sun was shining and we just soaked it up.

Friday afternoon is time for play. Children don’t get a lot of time to just play, just be, these days. Usually Friday afternoon play for me means time to tie up loose ends, time to assess students individually, time to listen to children read. As an idealistic teaching student this is something that I never wanted to end up doing. I don’t like to drag them away from their play. It doesn’t seem fair. But I do. Because there is no time to do it anywhere else.

Yesterday I let all that pressure fall to the way side, and I played too. I played but I also observed from the fringe, dipping in and out of scenarios to extend, support, guide. Fading out again, unnoticed, as the play continued.

At the end of the day, as we were packing up, one child said thoughtfully, “Some teachers don’t like coming to school”.

I paused and thought about this. I asked “how do you know?”.

“Hmmmm”. He shrugged. “You can tell”.

Fair enough.

I wanted to ask. So I asked. “Do you think I like coming to school?”.

He nodded. “Yeah".

Casually…. “Why do you think that?”.

He considered this for a moment. “Well, you just like being with kids and stuff”.

Yeah. I do. I like being with kids. And stuff.

Cough cough

Sickness is just so persistent, isn’t it? That winter sickness that comes with being surrounded by kids and their still-developing ability to cover their mouths and use tissues, not sleeves, to clean up their snot.

Pebble is fine, mostly. The cough lingers at night, but she’s generally happy, healthy, bright eyed. Now it’s my turn. The aching. The swollen, painful-to-swallow throat. The throbbing ears. The foggy head. All mine.

I stayed home from work today, hoping that a day of rest would give me a chance to properly get better. Unfortunately, if anything, I now feel worse. However. Work needs me.

I know, how sad does that sound? I’m not one of these people that drags themselves to work, coughing and sneezing, moaning about how sick I am, and thereby dragging my sorry arse into a sicker state (and everyone else around me).

Today is a case in point. When I’m sick I take a day off. Luckily I have shed-loads of sick leave. Also luckily, I am rarely sick.

BUT. The children! Their young minds and hearts! They need me! More to the point, all the little jobs, odds and sods, and my end of a shared teaching job need my attention. Not only am I leaving 24 little people without me, but my ‘other half’, my co-teacher, who could potentially turn up to work next week with a whole lotta stuff not attended to.

The guilt of having a sick day when you’re a teacher, let alone a co-teacher… hell, when you’re anybody, I suspect….  is just shitsville. I know I should just get over it. Build a bridge. What’s done is done, whatever shall be shall be. Will anyone remember this in ten years time? Probably not.

In any case, I’m going to leave the final decision to the morning. Which is the perfect way to stuff up a nights sleep – a night undecided, guilt-ridden torment.

Well, y’all sleep well now.

Rainy Days

It’s raining a lot here in Adelaide lately, off and on. We’re stuck inside quite a bit and Pebble is suffering from either a cold, the repercussions of her latest immunisation jab, or perhaps hand, food and mouth disease thanks to her child care debut. Great! The result, no matter what the cause, is a grumpy, clingy, tired, snotty, whingey kid – the poor bugga. Today was supposed to be the first time that she had a morning with Grandma ‘just because’, and I was planning on getting lots of work done. Relying on getting lots of work done, actually. After a shocking night last night where none of us got any sleep because of these sickeningly crackly coughing fits, it was decided that sick bubba needs her mumma and the plan to visit Grandma was abandoned.

Work to be done + sick child = you’re screwed.

I decided I needed a plan and immediately got to work making play dough and setting up some play activities. The play dough making itself was fun times for all (seriously!), then there was some play dough exploration, followed by a lounge room picnic with Ted and play dough food. This led to a birthday party for everyone in turn, a Pebble photography session, and then eventually allowed for a little independent play time while Mumma got her work on. I often find that a little TLC and fun play can lead to a little less clinginess and more independent play from Pebble for a little while at least. As long as it’s followed by a little more TLC and more play, of course . And I won’t lie to you…. ABC Kids is my friend at times like these.

I managed to get the work done, and had bursts of loveliness with our long suffering patient. Right now I’m listening to her coughs through the baby monitor, increasing in frequency at an alarming rate. I know I only have moments before it’ll be off to bed for me, Pebble along side, and a rough night of both of us tossing and turning. C'est la vie.

Good night all.

Strike while the iron is hot….

Can you tell that school has gone back? That I’m working again? Yeah, crickets are chirping around this little blog, and tumbleweeds have been rollin on by. I was so enthusiastic about my online space for a week or so there, and I am still enthusiastic about it. But TIME. And ENERGY. Severely lacking once school holidays finish and I’m back in the classroom. However tonight Pebble is asleep, Paul is out and I have a minute to myself to crack out a quick post.

I am LOVING being back at school right now. Which is something of a relief, because, if I’m honest, I had a real sinking depression towards the end of the school holidays. I was grumpy that I had to go to work, that I couldn’t be a stay at home mum, that I couldn’t spend every doing awesome things with my awesome kid. I loved, loved, loved school holidays, and really enjoying some down time with Pebble. The crankiness about the reality of my life and of having to leave her again was overwhelming. Grump, stomp, whinge, whine.

What do you know? Three weeks later and I’m still enjoying being a mum, and I also get to enjoy spending some of my time doing awesome things with other people’s awesome kids. Seriously, while this particular class of 24 six to eight year olds can sure throw some curve balls my way, they also know how to knock my socks off with their unending curiosity and ability to take what I throw at them and turn into their own learning and understandings. Seeing the light switch on is something I can’t imagine ever getting tired of, and keeps me going when the going gets tough.

The going is getting kinda tough this week, as it happens. I’m working an extra afternoon to have our classroom and school ‘authorised’ to become an IB PYP school, which is kind of a big deal for our school. It’s something that the school has been working towards for years and the whole staff is in a frenzy to prepare for it. This week is the week, and Tuesday and Wednesday is our time to shine, baby! Take a look at the IB site if you’d like more info, and are interested in inquiry learning.

Getting back to our Pebble, she’s kicking arse in this big wide world. She’s taken her first proper ‘week’ at child care in her stride. She had two half days last week, and survived them well. I say ‘survived’ because they were tough, and she was so tired afterwards. The good news is that her second day was better than her first, and on her first day there were only a few sad moments, and no prolonged instances of despair. Just a desire to see her mummy and daddy, which was temporarily fulfilled by cuddles with the fabulous staff in Toddler House.

I find it so reassuring that Pebble has already made a connection with one of her primary carers in particular, and will go to her for a cuddle, and tries to play with her hair when she’s sleepy, just like she does with her mummy. To know that she has someone to give her that comfort when she needs it is a huge comfort to me.

We’re taking things very slow with the integration into group care. Pebble will do two more half days this week, finished her Toddler House stay at 12pm, just after lunch and before nap time. In a few weeks, when things are hopefully going well, we’ll increase it to include the nap time, and then gradually extend the time until I’m able to pick her up myself.

Thank heavens for the angels in our family that can help us out at the moment. Aunty Julie is picking her up early on on morning, and Grandma is picking her up on the other morning. Without them we’d be straight into full days, and I think that would rock our little world a little more than any of us would like. I know that Pebble could survive that, but why not ease gently into things, if we can?

Sending extra special love and light to Kozi this week. ‘Nuff said.

A long time between drinks

It’s a topsy turvy old world – Pebble, stunt baby, 13 months

Er, well, actually, not so much between drinks, but definitely a long time between blog posts. Could it be that returning to work is impacting on my time to have fun and frollick in the blogging world? The short answer: yes.

I have missed blogging very much, but to be honest when I have had a moment to think about what I might write I’ve been finding myself a bit stuck. I feel that the authenticity of this blog is very much in danger of completely disappearing. Last year I made a few changes to the blog in the interests of protecting Pebble’s privacy. It’s something that I still feel strongly about, and really feel that I’ve made the right decision for us. BUT. It has impacted on the enjoyment I get out of blogging. I LOVE to share photos of my beautiful little girl, and censoring my choice of photos has dampened my enthusiasm.

Some things never change. Paul, my gorgeous and loving husband, is very supportive of my blogging, but rightfully asks that I respect his privacy. Of course I do. So you won’t find much about him here.

On top of that I absolutely can not blog about my work. I am an early childhood teacher, and while there are many successful early childhood teacher bloggers out there, I am not aiming to be one of them. I just want a blog for me, about my life and … stuff. However I don’t think it’s very professional for me to hop online and blab about my work – whether it be a great day or a bad day. These are kids lives that I’d be sharing about. How would I feel about my own child’s teacher writing about my child on a blog – whether it was positive or not, whether or not my child was identified? I just don’t feel comfortable with it. And if something doesn’t sit right with you, you gotta go with your gut.

And then. Then! There’s the time factor. I guess I used to blog more when Pebble was immobile. Then I blogged when she was napping. Now those naps are sacred time. If I’m not doing planning for my teaching days (very rare!) then I’m getting the house sorted, and trust me, I’m just barely keeping my head above water with that!

So, guys and gals, that doesn’t leave me a whole lot of authenticity or reality. And what is the point of a blog if you can’t get real? I hope you can bear with me while I figure out how to take this blog forward. If I decide to take it forward. I have loved my writing time, and just as much I have loved my interactions with all the other bloggers out there who I share the blogiverse with. Just know that, even though I’m not as vocal with my comments as I used to be, I’m still visiting you all when I can.

I’d love to know how you manage your blog and your life. How do you make your blog real? What boundaries do you set for yourself?

I’d also just love it if you said hi :)

Point and Shoot: Back to School Eve

 

Yes, the time has come! Tomorrow morning I head back to work, back to the classroom and 24 little six and seven year olds. This time I’m sharing the job with another teacher, which is a whole new ballgame, and is so far going really well.

Today it was 43 degrees Celsius, so what did Paul and I do? Drag the bub and ourselves into the classroom to put up curtains. As you do. They’re very basic, but they do the job, which is cutting out glare but still allowing in natural light. Did you know that teachers (in public schools anyway) buy (and install) their own curtains. I’m just sayin’, y’all.

Pebble thought the classroom was great fun. Unfortunately it is the least toddler friendly place I can think of, and she proceeded to destroy the joint like a little tornado on legs. I tried putting on the interactive whiteboard with cinema screen style videos from ABC Kids. Alas, this was not nearly as enticing as rolls of sticky tape and glitter pens. In the end we got the job done, and no glitter pens were harmed.

Technically I’m only dropping in tomorrow for an hour or so to help greet the new arrivals. My official work days are Wed, Thurs, Fri. That’s when the real fun begins!

I better go and get some shut eye.

Call the doctor to come quick, quick, quick

Poor little thing fell asleep while watching TV. A sure sign that she’s sick!

I am in day three of nursing a feverish, grizzly baby. Pebble has had a low-grade fever since Monday, with pretty much no other symptoms except red ear lobes for a couple of hours on Monday. I guess that may mean an ear infection? In any case, Pebble has been at times happy and cheerful and playing, eating all her food, drinking her drinks…. and at other times just plain grumpy, sooky, and needing mama cuddles. She has slept laying on top of me at all her naps, and some of the night, and she feels like a little hot water bottle. Any attempts to move her away from me are met with grizzles and screams. Panadol has been our friend.

After two days of patiently waiting out this sickness I am now ready to take the little one to the doctors and get her checked out. If anything she seems worse today. She woke up with a higher fever, grizzly and crying. She ate her breakfast, sucked down a bottle, then promptly passed out on my lap. I’m sure the doctors will say she’s just fighting a virus or infection and there’s nothing they can do, but I feel the need to hear that.

In other news, Pebble totally used a spoon to feed herself last night! Clever little rock star. It was messy and…. messy, but she was so proud of herself.

A proud expression mingled with a squinty look at the flash. Cuteness!

I have been vainly trying to get work done ready for the new school year. Tomorrow I am due to go into school and set up the classroom with my co-teacher, I’m hoping that Pebble will be all better so that I can let that happen.

I hope you and yours are well! I hear a baby stirring… gotta go.

Back to school

Today I went into my school to meet up with my co-teacher and make a plan for setting up our classroom. It’s all feeling very real now, only three weeks until I’m back officially and thrown into the deep end. I’m trying to get as much organised now as I can, so that I can swim rather than sink!

I love this photo – way over there in the background is little Pebble, waving her arms at me as if to say “Hey Mum, don’t forget about me!”.

Trust me little one, I won’t forget you. Far from it.

What a way to make a living

This gave me a giggle – maybe it’s just a teacher thing… 

After a year of a little nagging  (ok sometimes big, overwhelming) thought in the back of my mind that I’ll need to return to work in January 2011…. the time has almost come. As most of you know I’m a junior primary teacher, and next year I’ll be returning to share a class half time with another teacher. We’re teaching a composite class of year 1s and 2s, that’s 6 & 7 year olds. 16 boys. 9 girls. I have a sheet of paper with their names on it, and yesterday I got to meet them for the first time.

The meeting was….. a little chaotic. Firstly it was an unexpected opportunity. I only found out about it sometime mid-morning yesterday. Without child care arranged for Pebble, she tagged along for the ride. Luckily (or unluckily!) my co-teacher (from here on referred to as Mrs Oz) also had her 16 month old son and 4 year old daughter with her.

So there we were, two frazzled mummies/returning to the workforce teachers, three kids under five and twenty-three* 6 & 7 year olds. All in a classroom that belonged to someone else on the third to last day of school (in school land that = crazy time). Given all of that, it actually went quite well. Mrs Oz had prepared letters to go out to each child from both of us, introducing us and our teaching plans for the year. We took photos of each child ready for different displays in the classroom and got a teeny, tiny glimpse of the personalities that we’ll be enjoying in the year to come. Best of all, they got to meet us, which I think is a huge relief to most students. It takes away the unknown before the summer holidays.

It’s quite odd sharing a classroom, especially when we’re both there at the same time. I think it’s going to be a challenge, but overall it’s going to be a blessing. We each have someone to share the load with and the students get two for one. They have two motivated and passionate teachers, each with their own strengths, and twice the observation and support in their learning journey.

Mrs Oz and I have been emailing each other nearly every day with ideas and plans for the future, and are busy organising ourselves to be both super-mums and super-teachers next year. After a year of small and not-so-small worries, I can finally say I’m really looking forward to returning to work. I can also say goodbye to good sleep! Thoughts of work have kept me awake since about 4am – oh well, at least I have a spare moment to blog!

*two students absent

Goodbye

I just learned some very sad news. One of my favourite primary school teachers has passed away, well before her time.
I have thought of her so often, especially as I became a teacher myself. I have reflected on the warm, engaging, community feel of the classroom that she shared so well with another teacher, and I wonder how I can create that kind of learning environment myself.
Perhaps it’s just my experience, but in that classroom I felt a part of a community, I felt excited about learning, I felt accepted by all and accepting of all. My mind was stretched, my heart was full. I was confident and happy. The value of this experience can not be underestimated.
I have tried to contact this teacher several times in my adult life, just to say thank you. Thank you for all the wonderful memories, thank you for the inspiration. I didn’t have any luck and I’m so sad that I could never tell her the difference that she made in my life.
So now, I will throw my words out there and hope that somewhere, somehow, she can catch them. Thank you Miss C (as you will always be known to me).