Child Care Update

Yeah, I still feel like crap, thanks for asking. But I’m so bored with talking about being sick, so let’s move on, ok?

What’s that? Yes, Pebble is settling in to child care quite well, thank you. This week she did two half days, staying until around 2.30pm – 3.00pm. She’s been eating, sleeping, playing and yes, sometimes crying. She cries a little when we drop her off, and cries on and off during the day, but we’re told that she settles well when reminded that we’re coming to pick her up “soon”.

Which brings me to two new favourite expressions that Pebble has been using. The first is “shoooo, shoooo". Here is a scenario to put it into context:

Pebble: Daddy?
Me: Daddy’s at work.
Pebble: shoooo, shoooo *solemn nod of the head*
Repeat x 3. Minimum.

I gather that the gorgeous Toddler House staff must have to use a lot of “Mummy/Daddy will be here soon” when Pebble asks after us, and now Pebble is using it as her soothing thought to get through those tough times. It’s like a little baby meditation. Cute, no?

Less cute, but pretty hilarious, is the “stop! stop” with a talk-to-the-hand action. I think this is taught to the children at child care to help them stop other kids snatching toys and pushing each other over. You know, the whole “use your words, tell them to stop”. I’ve been there, I’ve done that.

Pebble seems to think the most suitable application of this new found communication tool is when Mummy and Daddy are having a conversation. She plants herself all up in my face and says “stop! stop” with that hand waving in my face. Hilarious! But it so ain’t gonna work around here, little girl, let me tell you!

Anyhoo, I’ve got a date with a couch, a blankie and, when Pebble goes to bed, finishing off the rest of this classic (can you believe I’ve never seen it before?!).

~ Spartacus ~

Enjoy  your Friday night!

Child Care Visit #3

Well. She cried. I said "goodbye I love you, I'll be back soon", took four steps to the door and "waaaaaahhhhhhhh!". She started. I looked back (tip: DON'T look back!) and saw her little pink face all screwed up, looking at me like I was breaking her heart.

That? Right there? That's Mother's Guilt.

I sat in the car outside, making sure I couldn't see I wasn't visible from her play yard (this is the kindy yard). Thank god for roaming internet, it served as the perfect distraction for the half hour that I waited to return. I had taken along some teacher reference books but was too muddle headed to read them. Facebook was all my brain was up for.

When I got back Pebble was standing next to one of the tables, with all the other kids, eating her fruit. She was standing, not sitting, because she had just been doing a little bum-wobble-dance to the song they were singing. Pebble smiled and waved when she saw me, and asked me to sit next to her. She was fine. Dare I say it, she even looked happy.

Overall another successful visit. Hopefully more to come.

Child Care Take 2

Front row seat to watch mummy blow dry her hair. Quite entertaining, apparently.

So far so good! Today I took Pebble to her second child care play without mummy. She again screamed with delight when we arrived in the car park and happily toddled up to the toddler house. Once she was settled with some morning tea I said goodbye and walked out. This time I felt a little less like throwing up, which is always good. Pebble continued to munch happily on fruit and bread.

I returned half an hour later to see her getting ready to go outside to play. Pebble gave me a big beaming smile and toddled on over to me to say hello, then dragged me outside with her. Fiona, one of the lovely educators at the centre, told me that Pebble did get a weeny bit upset but calmed down really quickly when Fiona offered her a cuddle and her teddy bear.

We fed the rabbits before heading off home. Visit #3 is planned for tomorrow, fingers crossed that it all keeps coming along so swimmingly!

Blessed

Today Pebble and I had an amazingly wonderful day. We spent every minute of it together, playing, enjoying, lapping it up. We started with some nice long cuddles in bed before finally getting up to go and pick up some necessities from the supermarket on our way to another Toddler House visit (read more here and here). Pebble was even more ready to join in the play today, and within 15 minutes of our visit she was running laps around the yard with only the odd glance to see that I was within easy reach. By the end of the visit she had toddled off to the sandpit area on her own, leaving me in the yard with some of the other kids. I am really pleased with how well she’s settling in – the squeal of delight when we get to the car park and the cries of dismay when I say it’s time to go are a good sign. This will be tested when I attempt my first proper drop off on Thursday this week. I will say goodbye to Pebble for half an hour, while I go and sit in the car and fret about her emotional well being. She will be fine. I may need a big hug.

Following that successful and happy morning we dropped into mother’s group at a local cafe and met the first new baby #2 of the group, along with two of the newly pregnant mummies. It seems that making second babies is all the rage in this particular group. Nope, not for our family, thanks for asking.

After mother’s group Pebble fell fast asleep on the way home and stayed in bed for a long nap, letting me get on with some chores. I finished the ironing, washed the clay out of Paul’s gardening clothes from the weekend, and cleaned the kitchen. Didn’t I just feel like Super Susie Homemaker?

When Pebble woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed I decided to follow on from one of this week’s episodes of Play School, where they made cars and raced them. Pebble helped me to make a box car for her to ride in. We used an old nappy box, four paper places for the wheels and one for the steering wheel, ribbons for ‘seat belts’, a few stickers and a bit of lace for decoration and LOTS of strong tape. Pebble helped with the folding, sticking and decorating.

Unfortunately the finished product was nothing but mildly terrifying to poor Pebble. I tried to fit her into the car but I’d made the seat belts too tight the first time around, so she got a little squished and quite put off the whole thing. After adjusting the belts and giving all the toys a go in the car Pebble was quite keen to have another. She was soon zooming around the house in her super cool new wheels, looking quite pleased with herself.

With the afternoon looming ahead I thought it would be good to get some fresh air. We grabbed wellies, beanies and a bucket and went outside for a nature treasure hunt. We grabbed interesting bits and bobs from around the garden, venturing as far as the play ground across the road to find the most interesting pieces. Of course, that meant we had to PLAY!

Feeling ready for a nice snuggle in front of the fire with a book, we went indoors and did just that.

Today I am feeling very grateful for all the happiness and health that I and my family experience every day. Blessed are we if we are lucky enough for this to continue into the very distant future. I wish the same for all of you.

All growned up

Here’s our little girl, a baby no more, all ready to head off to child care. We had our second visit today and it went really well. Pebble explored the environment all by herself, making sure to park her bum in every chair in the home corner, until she found one that was just right. She tinkered with the puzzles, built up some blocks, fussed over babies and sat herself down for a good nosh up at morning tea time. She did refuse to wash her hands in the all too scary looking bathroom, and she did choose to come to the toilet with mum, instead of waiting in the Toddler House with all the other kids. That’s ok, baby steps, right?

We have two more visits next week, and plans for The Big Separation. I wonder who’ll need more support? Pebble? Or me? Yeah, I think so too.

Reflection

We had a bit of a fright yesterday. Paul’s mum (let’s call her Grandma, because everybody does) was taken by ambulance to hospital for severe back pain. At 70+ years old she’s a vibrant, healthy, fit and active woman, and yet, when you get a call that your 70+ year old mum is in hospital it makes you worry. Really worry. Thankfully it seems that the pain was caused by an infection, which is now being treated with antibiotics. The pain is still there, but not as bad. Time will tell.

It’s moments like these that make you realise how precious your time with your loved ones really is. Of course it does. It’s also times like this that, selfishly, Paul and I started to think seriously about our child care choices for this year. Grandma has very happily volunteered to care for Pebble two days a week. We are so grateful to have this help, and Pebble love, love, loves her Grandma. It couldn’t have worked out better really…. but. But.

What if Grandma gets sick? What if Grandma get’s really sick? Apart from being awful for everyone, not least Grandma herself, after all is said and done our little family would be up a shitty child care creek without a paddle. As I already know, sitting here on a looooooong wait list, good child care is not easy to come by, and certainly not quick. So, what do we do?

We’re still thinking about it. We’re thinking about child care two days a week. It’s a hard decision to make, because we know that both Grandma and Pebble will love their time together. However, if something were to go wrong we don’t have a back up, and neither of us has jobs that we can just up and leave until it gets sorted.

We’ll keep thinking. But we will need to make a decision. Soon.

Faaaaark!

See this goofy look? This is Pebble’s expression most of the time lately. She’s still working on those two bottom teeth. I’m not sure if they’re growing or if she’s just testing the feel of them on her lips and tongue. But she is forever sliding her lips back and forth and invariably looks like this.  I think that it is most entertaining, and will be sure to save photos like this to torment her with when she’s older.
Speaking of torment – yesterday I found out that Pebble is a little further down the child care waiting list than I realised. Like, 80th on the list. Oooooookaaaay.
Yesterday I went for a tour of the centre with Paul’s sister, who works there. Previously I’d spoken to her about putting us on the list, which she had done. I never spoke to anyone at the centre myself. When we were placed on the list I was told that we might not get in as soon as we’d like, but we’d get in. I can’t remember if I assumed this meant a month or two later than we’d like, or if it was actually said. As it turns out Pebble is very unlikely to be enrolled in the Baby House at all, and will most likely begin her time there in the toddler room.
After she has turned 18 months old.
Six months AFTER I have returned to work.
I suppressed a mild panic after absorbing this news. My panic welled further as I saw just how wonderful the centre is. It really ticks all my boxes. It exceeds all my expectations. And my expectations are high. I really want Pebble to go to this centre.
I should have done more to find out what exactly was happening with the child care situation. I have been in such total denial about this whole thing since Pebble was born. I should have had her on the list when I was pregnant. However, we always discussed putting Pebble in this centre, and I might have been told earlier just how difficult it was to get in. *shrugs* Whatever. It’s done now.
So now we need to make a <quick> decision about whether to place Pebble on the list at another centre, and either keep her at this centre (assuming we can get into one at this late stage) OR get her in, then transition when a space is available at the preferred centre (dreading the thought of transitioning). OR manage it ourselves.
Paul’s mum and sister have both said that they can help out. Paul has said that he can take some leave days to care for Pebble. My mum can do some if she knows in advance (she works shift work).
We can mange, I think, but it’s kind of terrifying not having it all set in stone. Not to mention that I won’t find out what days I’m working until late this year.
*insert scream here*
I can’t think about it anymore. I’m off to stick my head in the sand again
.

Now I’ve got a heavy heart

 
I finally bit the bullet today and started thinking PROPERLY about child care for Pebble next year. I will be returning to work as a teacher part time next year. How many days? Dunno. Which days? Dunno. Do I want to think about this? NO!
But.
*SIGH*
It needs to be thought about.
We plan to take Pebble to a local community centre, where one of Pebble’s aunties also works. It’s a very well regarded centre, with many quality care indicators yaddah yaddah yaddah. But I still have to leave my BA-BEEEEEE!
Gawd, I never thought I’d feel like this. For too long I’ve been in total denial about it, and now just making a few phone calls is making me feel so sad. I promise myself that I will NOT be one of THOSE parents. You know, the ones with their noses pressed to the window, who keep popping their head back in the door to see if the babe is ok, in the process making the whole separation thing sooooo much worse. I WILL NOT be that person.
As it happens, we can’t get our chosen care until at least a couple of months after I start work. So I’ve been shopping around for other options, which all sounds a bit messy and upsetting to little girls named Pebble.
Fortunately we have a few family back ups who may be able to do some days or even a regular weekly day, which is very nice indeed. It means that I may not have to use alternative care at first, and it could be that Pebble will only be in a child care centre one day a week.
Now here’s the part where I need to make it Very Clear that I think child care is awesome. Did I mention that I’m an Early Childcare Educator? Quality care is fantastic for children and families, and it’s value in society can not be underestimated, but often is.
However, truth be told, if I win lotto tomorrow I’ll be a stay at home mum until my kiddies go to school (or even longer if we win big!). That ain’t gonna happen though – particularly as I only buy a ticket about twice a year. Hmmmm.
How did you cope with sending your child to child care?
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